The Elevator

Silentfilibustr — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 07:10:39 GMT

~Do not become alarmed should the elevator doors fail to open. There is little danger of running out of air, or of the elevator dropping uncontrollably.~

How comforting. Compared with the agonizing moments spent in close confinement with others, some may consider running out of air to be a preferable alternative.

Elevators are strange things. Even funny; which would explain why so many people like to pull elevator pranks. Aside from the obvious delight of seeing people squirm uncomfortably as they step on, there is a certain wicked joy in knowing that they will only squirm all the more once the doors close.

If anything is a step out of one's comfort zone, the elevator is IT. Forget the step. It's a giant-dinosaur leap. People just don't know what to do with themselves. They smile and say hello as they step on, then suddenly, as the doors close and the person realizes he is trapped, awkward silence ensues.

Isn't it funny how people in closed spaces just close themselves off to all forms of communication. That person that would normally strike up small talk with the cashier at the supermarket, or a complete stranger on the street, becomes dead silent on the ride up to the next floor.

Perhaps there is a certain sense of responsibility that comes with the striking up of a conversation, that people just don't know how to handle. Goodbye's are always difficult. Even more so when riding the elevator. If one were to strike up a minute conversation, one is beholden to take one's leave. The question arises, how does one do this? Does a simple "goodbye" or "take care" suffice? What happens if you laid out your life story on the ride up, thus establishing, perhaps, a sense of familiarity? Is a "take care" to formal? Would a hug be to forward? Yes, there is a ton of awkawardness associated with riding on the elevator.

So, what would happen if the elevator stopped? Just stopped, right there, between floors. Oh no, the downward cast eyes would become shifty, as people searched for something to hold keep them occupied while rapidly formulating an escape plan. Not because they are scared of being trapped on the elevator... after all, the sign clearly stated the lack of danger to self and society. No, the fear is in being trapped with complete strangers. The situation of entrappment, one that normally brings people together, changes dramatically on the elevator. People begin to claw at their hair, at walls, at anything within reach, in a mistaken belief that doing so would help free them from the confines of discomfort.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the doors open, ever so slowly, taunting passengers with the freedom that is so near at hand. Keeping their eyes forward, all scuttle off.

Shakespeare never knew how right he was, when he said that "If we do meet again, we'll smile indeed; If not, 'tis true this parting was well made. "

Yes, Shakespeare always knew what to say; but then again, he never rode the elevator.

The Pink Think Tank

The Elevator